The Invisible Fight…Pt.5

The Invisible Fight…Pt.5

Original Post: June 3, 2017

So begins the weekly obligation of seeing my probation officer. And not just see him but at least once a week and monthly visits to a councilor for my bad temper. Bad Temper? I thought I handled the situation pretty well considering I was expecting to pick up my son to have a few fun filled days doing whatever we wanted. Instead, I was thrown in jail, handed a sentence that would negate any chance or hope of seeing my son. I was in deep, deep despair and the pent up rage and anger would almost certainly consume me, if I couldn’t do something to fix it.

You see the past 20 years my life has been a non stop roller-coaster of a ride. Despite all the run ins with the law and battles with girlfriends old and new, and being homeless taking care of a family of 8 ,in a motor-home. I had beaten all of those circumstances just to be faced with an insurmountable pile of dead ends and no chances. I had no job, no money, no place to live,and trying to find my way back to place i could call “happy”.

I had tried conventional methods of finding work. Wasn’t working. I needed to find a job and new career at 43. Not an easy task. Even harder when your starting at 0. My mom recently left our city to take up residence 1 province over in beautiful British Columbia and it was her turn to be happy and live her life ..happy. I couldn’t get her involved with the pending uphill battle i was about to face. I just couldn’t. And Dad. The same for him. Both my parents are A-1, top notch, the world’s best parents that gave us kids the most memorable,loving, compassionate and understanding lives any of us could have asked for. They can’t be involved. Shouldn’t be involved.

So now things very surreal to me. About to embark on the biggest fight of my life and my 2 rocks in my life would no longer be there to help me and advise me or be in my corner. i start to feel very alone and wondering why i wasted so many years and so much money on senseless things when i should of been thinking about the future . Planning, preparing for what may happen down the road. Like this. I needed to find something! Anything to bring me back and give me a fighting chance at saving my son’s and my bond. He would be my inspiration for not taking no for an answer and working to securing a s future as father and son.

July 26,2016.  For a couple weeks now I’ve been doing a ’email sending program’. I started doing surveys for money online but they pay cents. Literally a 20 minute survey yields you a whopping $0.50. So you can imagine my dismay when after 2 solid weeks of doing surveys i had only made $48.45. But then i received an email about a wonderful opportunity sending emails daily. It would start out slow but after 8 weeks , and invested $450, and scaling up not 1 but 4 different email sending accounts , i was set for a payout!!! Yes!!! All my tireless nights and determined drive to make money online and reclaim my happiness were about to be set in motion!! This was my destiny! I love this type of work! So F4#@5$* weird!!  But regardless, here i was and finally i pasted the payout threshold and i was owed money! And not just some money. A-lot! All together this company owed me $12,630 U.S.D.

It’s a pretty good payday! And will allow me to get caught up and start my fight to reclaim my relationship with my son back.  I was on my way. Let’s get paid!!

October 5,2015. I login to my computer and eagerly go into the back office to submit my request to be paid. I submit. I eagerly wait for support to get back to me and im excited!! This would set my new career on the right path and give me a bit of breathing room! Where’s my money?! Support sends me back a reply minutes later with 2 ‘extra’ forms to fill out and submit. ? What? A tax form for US residents and a request to open a Dwolla account to get paid. WHAT??  Dwolla is a payment processor that doesn’t even handle personal accounts and not in Canada. And they don’t do anything with my company anyway.

My heart begins to race! No!! NO!! Are you fucking kidding me!?!

As if fate had played a cruel joke on me i would soon know what it feels like to be ‘helpless’ Things were about to get much worse and more complicated….And would push me to the brink of life itself……

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