Last day_Ryder and Me

There was nothing that any of my family and especially myself, was prepared for what would happen next. The price of oil plummets. Our entire lives, our jobs, our money , our investments….our livelihood….gone. Over night we went from pretty well off to wondering what we could do to save our homes. This one day would push me to the very limits of what it means to struggle.

Gone were gifts to my kids. Gone were the little or grand extra’s that one week earlier seemed like gimme’s. Before I go any further it’s important to know that i was always an addict to some degree or another and it itself had a resounding effect on both my relationships and my personal life. But i always or my family gave by far,. Fast forward to winter of 2015.

Creditors and bills start to pile up. i have no idea what i’m going to do to start a new career at 43. This was just the tip of the iceberg than would almost take everything from me . Including my life.

Without a job now or a career , my ignorant and selfish ex who lives 400 km south of me, then made my situation even worse. She used the fact I was broke and the fact i hadn’t seen my son,8, in nearly 6 months, to set her methodical and righteous plan into effect. You see she was always scorned by the fact that i didn’t want her anymore. Her boastful and righteous demeanor just didn’t sit well with me and we hadn’t been a couple for 4 years. For the most part we managed to get along. But she always hated me for not wanting her anymore. I’m just not built the way she is. Cold, selfish, vain. Then here comes her new boyfriend (Whom I met on many occasions, and Who I though was actually a nice guy. Level headed, white collar kind of guy) Then takes it one step further by turning her daughters, who i called my girls, and they called me their dad, against me. It should be noted that i gave my ALL to support and give to this family of 6 girls and the mom through the years spanning from 2004 to 2011. Everything from paying her rent , to giving her vehicles to funding her trips up north every winter to collect another wad of free money.

Spring 2016, The snow starts to melt away the hard ,cold winter ice and gives way to fresh air , blooming flowers and at least something to look forward to. A new life. Mom was moving to another province, and the decision to move Dad into my sisters was set.What was i going to do?  I had no money. No Nothing. But i had to do something if there was any chance at seeing my son who now i hadn’t seen in 270 days. She didn’t even allow him to call me on Christmas. O, by the way, to ensure i would not have contact. She changed her number. As chicken shit , cowardly people do to avoid life and the real people that are in it.

June 2016. With bills accumulated to an all time high something unexpected happens. After applying at 131 different jobs , and not getting 1 callback or interview, i turned to the internet for answers. Same old job postings but like always 100+ people applying for the same job. Through my endless web surfing i come across and email sending offer that sounds promising.  My personal life is spiraling out of control. I have no money but manage to scrounge up enough money to buy this email sending program, pay the fees to multiply and upgrade all 4 email sending accounts that i opened. I was addicted to this ! Me,Robin Lauscher, a computer nerd? No F!*$%#@ way!!! Yup!! Over night i became hopelessly addicted to working on a computer program seemingly making me hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. All i had to do was login, a send 1 email to my list, twice a day.

Finally i had some focus and something to build upon. A way to secure my future and the future of my children and have enough money to get legal council and reclaim my son back into my life!! So i managed to get enough money together to drive to my son’s hometown and surprise him for his june 4,2016 8th birthday. i knew i’d get some grief and have to hold back my reserve and maybe let her vent. So i drove there, waited till i knew my son was at school and went and knocked on her door. Eventually, one of the girls answered, called their mom to the door. I briefly explained what was happening why i was there and was told to come back later and she wasn’t prepared to see me. And was so caught off guard….. Who knows? She was master of making a big deal about everything.

After returning later that day and with her boyfriend present she allowed me in to her house and she unleashed all her righteous fury and dismay that i haven’t seen our son in a long time. Trying to explain why to her didn’t matter. It never matters. What matters the most is how SHE sees it. Rationality, sensibility and compassion are just 3 things she knows nothing of.   You see she’s the type of person who will turn on you if you don’t like her type of music or her type of show. Righteous people are narrow minded and have no concept of other people’s vision or idea’s or thoughts. And they certainly don’t care about anyone or anything that they don’t agree with. If there was a global competition to see who the most mean spirited, selfish, conceited and self-righteous person was….She would win hands down!

Nevertheless she “allowed” me to see my boy! I was elated! We went for supper, then to a movie and then i took him home. Though i didn’t want to. But, it was a school day and I didn’t have money for hotel. So I drove back to Red Deer. Least a got to spend 5 hours with my son after not seeing him for 270 days. Before I left however, she had a few more choice words for me, telling me how much i need to prove to HER before my parental rights would be reinstated. I thought to myself , ‘You Self Selfish Bitch! How dare you act this way when it was ME and my family who took care of you and yours when you had nothing!!’ But for the greater good i took her rage filled venting and walked out. But …..Not before telling her, or sorry, asking her if it was ok with her that I’d be down in one months time to see him and spend a week with him!

She agreed! And I was happy because now i had a date and a plan and once again my boy and I would be happy once more!

July 15,2016. I woke up that day and thought this day was to be the best day I had in a very long time! Boy, was I wrong.