Original Post May 29, 2017
As I sat in my hotel room, in a state of confusion,anger,disbelief and sadness, I somehow knew that everything would now change and that if i wanted a normal, deserved and happy relationship with my son…….that i would have to fight for it. Fight for him. Fight for us. But it would come at a cost. And the long road to happiness would begin a few hours after I returned to my hotel room.
4:34 pm, July 15,2016. Contemplating what to do, I pace about my room , the outside door propped open in case the police came by to ‘talk to me’. Trying to keep my senses about me I weighed the pro’s and con’s of several courses of action. Pretty much all of them resulting in me going to jail. Many times over the years my ex and I got into physical arguments. Many.
Those who know me KNOW I stand up for what’s right, what’s reasonable and what’s fair. Every time she and I got to this level, the police were called. Do you know how many times she went to jail? Guess. Do you know how many times I went? Guess again.
You see she is master of ‘crying wolf’. To give you insight into the type of person she is, She will alienate one of her own children if they voice an interest in ANYTHING she doesn’t approve of or like. She never apologizes. Never. Many times during an argument I would say something like, ‘You never make mistakes? You must be perfect!’. Her response to that is, ‘My other ex’s used to say that exact thing. I guess I am as perfect as you all say!’ She also makes the Christmas season dismal and non-festive. Why? She likes to vocally announce that she ‘hates spending money’. The real reason is that around the first week of December, every year, she gets an annual Christmas bonus from her native band council. Last I checked, she receives $2500 per child who is under the age of 18. At the height of her annual bonus she was getting $15K.
Yup. 6 kids x $2500=$15K. But now that all the kids have left, except my boy who is now 13 (and he didn’t qualify for the bonus because I am not native) she has NO more Christmas bonuses coming in. In fact, she is so selfish, that she has kept her one daughter, who is legally blind but can manage just fine, at home so she can collect her daughter’s A.I.S.H payments. A.I.S.H. is a support platform in Canada that gives people with disabilities a monthly income. When I was with this evil woman, I recall doing the groundwork to inquire and collect the documents that she needed to fill out to collect these A.I.S.H. payments. Not thinking anything of it and actually thinking it would benefit her daughter and allow her to branch out and live her life on her terms, I came home one day and spoke with her daughter the second I came through the door. Seconds later, my ex came flying down the stairs, and began giving me heck saying it was ‘none of my business’ and that these kids aren’t mine and shouldn’t stick my nose in their affairs.
If I was a new addition to this family unit, I could see her point. But this exact situation occurred in year 8 of our messed up and one-sided tenor together. Yet she had no problem accepting my family paying her rent and staying in countless hotels even prior to my son being born. Another f@#!$ up notion of hers, for as much as she hates Christmas, you would think that setting up the Christmas tree wouldn’t be to her liking either. Well, you’d be wrong. Despite her hatred for the holidays, the one thing that should be up to the kids to decorate and make their own is the tree. But no. My ex had to do it HER way with her same all white and silver themed boring ass Christmas tree. And when the kids brought something home that they made in school for a tree decoration, it never went on the tree. Instead it would find a dusty, unnoticed spot on top of the refrigerator.
You see she did NOTHING with the kids best interest at heart. She doesn’t encourage them, she doesn’t instill positive values, she doesn’t give her kids any character building parenting or anything like that. In fact her best and most favorite thing to do with her kids, is to sit around and put down people or ex’s who aren’t there and act like she is God’s gift to mankind. Truly.
Anyway, back to the moment at hand. (I apologize for getting off track).
I knew this encounter would be no different. Without missing a step and almost right on cue my phone rang. I could tell by the number that is was local law enforcement. Without hesitation, I answer.
The officer tells me who he is and what this call is about. He then states that by now I am probably nowhere near Lethbridge. I tell him I am still IN Lethbridge. The officer replies,’Oh? Ok. Can you come talk to me about this situation? If you don’t an arrest warrant will be issued for your arrest.?’. I said ,’ Sure. I’ll be right over.’
I knew that when I came down, there would be a good chance that the law would become involved. For this exact reason, I booked my room at the hotel literally right across the street from city police headquarters.
I walk into the detachment, wait for the assigned officer to let me in and the process begins. He questions me but I hold firm because I did nothing wrong besides break her fence gate . Big deal. If i had acted any other way i’d be going up on a very different and more severe charge. Regardless of how justified i was, regardless of the fact that i was ‘set up’ to take the fall, regardless of the fact that I had made plans and had/have the messages to prove it. It didn’t matter. 1 charge of mischief, 1 charge of destruction of property. Now the timeless process of being processed begins.
Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of being in “holding’ in a community jail knows that minutes seem like hours. Hours like weeks and so on and so on. It takes FOREVER to wait for papers, then they let you out for prints, right back in, then you wait to speak or see a justice of the peace for bail or no bail, then you wait for papers again and then they let you go . If you make bail.
I walk out of jail 8hr26min later. Local time, 1:37am. I wanted to get the ball rolling so I asked for my matter to be tried in court the very next day. I flop on the bed , have the day’s last cigarette and close my eyes.
I wake seemingly instantly ready to go and eager to get my matter dealt with. I’d never been excited to go to court ever. Who would be. But I knew this is the only way i could be heard and something done about this unfair and unjust situation. I headed to the courthouse. 5 hrs after i was released from jail.
My name was read. I stood up ,walk up to the podium and the charges were read. In my haste i forgot to take into consideration that maybe i should have talked to duty council first. But why? I knew what i wanted to do and knew how to get it. I’ve represented myself in court many times. If you know your rights and what’s possible you have that option. While standing at the podium i was asked if i could pay for the fence. So i did and handed duty council $40 for her fence.+1
Then the conditions were read. Suspended sentence. +1 report to a probation officer as instructed. Big deal. Now here comes the reason why i SHOULD have talked to duty council first. The last 2 conditions, To have NO contact with my ex. including social media or any other platform. And condition number 2. To not step foot within the city limits of the city i was currently in. -2 The judge unknowingly handed me a heart ripping suspended sentence by cutting off the only means of communication with my son and cutting off the physical path that leads to my son. That meant that it would be another 366 days before i even had a chance to see him again…at the very least.
+2 for her. But it would and will be the last time she ever wins at my expense or my son’s expense. Because something unexpected is about to happen to me that nobody could have ever saw coming.
Times I’ve seen my son since March 2015: once.
Consecutive days since i saw him: 346
Days left till I can legally see him: 46
Total days lost since March 2015: 689 and 2 Christmas’ back to back. Not even a phone call.
July 26,2016. W.T.F is happening to me………