The Invisible Fight……all 4 nothing?

So those of you who have read this blog and followed the storyline know that for me, this was my best effort and most dedicated to a new found career and determination that propelled me to securing a future for myself and my kids forever. But as i sit and write this post it all may have been for nothing. Because also as i sit here and write this blog, it will probably be my last as for all the fight i have done and all the right moves i made, it has gotten me nowhere. Why you ask? Because the person who i looked over and made sure was taken care of when they had nobody and nowhere to go, has not taken the appropriate steps to ensure those responsible pay for their malicious lies and vengeful acts against me . When it was me and only me who welcomed her into our family without prejudice or judgment.

I sit here scared. Feeling very alone. I told her it would come to this. I told her we were running out of time, i told her this is NOT what i wanted and had aspirations and plans of my own! But she chose to ignore me , and do things her and her evil parents way. You see it was they who got her baby taken away. Who does that?? What kind of parent would do that to their pregnant daughter,out of spite. Makes you wonder what kind of people they are. It’s the same ones who tricked me into flying to vancouver island last fall citing “we just want our nearly term daughter to not be alone driving through the mountains in mid fall’.  Makes sense to me. But those are the thoughts of moralistic and compassionate people. They ‘people’ don’t qualify.  They just wanted her off the island so they could in essence “pawn” her off on me. And that’s exactly what happened.

And despite accepting this forced assumption of another person i could not afford i couldn’t help but to feel for her. I can’t fathom that happening to me and so i integrated her into my family . Where she received all the labours of love and care through mom when she was down or at dad’s where she always had a great meal. And still i kept her with me because she had nobody. And the fight for baby James began.

Then the evil parents show their ugly mug in mid february citing “we were wrong.we are sorry,we will do what we can to get your baby back”. But i knew then for sure that their only option to arrange this would be at my expense. And as sure as death and taxes, It peered it’s ugly face the day i went golfing with my friend and ate a ‘special’ gummy treat that i wish i hadn’t.(That story is for another time.WOW!)

As i went to meet Dad in Red Deer that day ,i thought to myself “Please God! Let this mail be something i don’t have to deal with now or another issue i need help with. My parents have gone through enough and i didn’t want to have yet another issue to add their extensive collection of “Bobby’s Greatest Family WTF’s”. And i prayed. I actually did. I found i have been doing that more and more lately. Seemingly for any number of reasons but this one i needed to be answered.

Nope. Not this time. Instead i would viciously punted through the uprights with a court imposed maintenance order , directing me to pay the person i was already looking after nearly $2,234.50. And not only that but already at first stage of motor vehicles services restriction. Are you F$#%$#’n kidding me!?!?!?

Then to compound things 1 day after i had access to my e-commerce money , which is more than i’ve ever had in my entire life, maintenance steps in and freezes everything. Rendering my once again powerless, money less, and fighting for my very life and future once again, in what is MY greatest year of determination and grit to stick with something and have it impact my life so much as to rid me of an addiction , Just to be systematically ripped down and destroyed as if it never existed at all.  So i still have a little under 20 hrs left i guess but i am tapped. I never got to pay my bills or see the smiles come back to my parents and show them what i’ve done and them be proud of me!! I honestly did the best i could do and did whatever i could to get there. And i am here. But too many agencies and people who won’t listen are all tugging at me and i’m out of time!!!  I’m Sorry!

And to those who took my life and my families life so cavalier….I AM COMING DIRECTLY FOR YOU!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? I AM COMING DIRECTLY TO YOUR FRONT FUCKING DOOR!  And then it’ll be my turn to take EVERYTHING away from YOU!!

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