The Invisible Fight…pt.3

The morning of July 15,2017 was a special morning for me. For the first time in a long time i was content. Happy. Wanting the day to commence and bring forth the events and time and laughter and fun that i wa sabout to share with my son who i hadn’t seen in quite some time.

It is important to note that during the past 5 weeks leading up to this day i was in contact with my ex’s daughter, who also calls/called me Dad, to make arrangements and coodinate a plan so i could see my son. Because as of yet my son’s mother still won’t have contact with me and doesn’t forward me her new number. As it was to the best of my knowledge , my step daughter was relaying the messages to my ex and as far as i knew, things were set for me to pick up my son and spend 4-5 days with him in his home town. I had gotten an hotel room at a local hotel eqipped with waterslides and within distance of any and all amenities that my son and i had always enjoyed doing together. The room and spending money was made possible as a gift to me from my mother, for my birthday.

All i wanted was to spend time with my littlest boy and bring a smile to his face and allow myself to be content and happy. Even if it was for just a moment or short while.

As i got dressed i just wanted to ensure everything was set. I send a message to my step daughter .  No reply.  I send another. Nothing. I call. She answers. After a brief exchange of words my heart begins to race. Something’s wrong. I can feel it. As i begin to grow impatient i try to message my ex on another social media platform. She replies. Basically stating if i think i can just drop in whenever i feel like it that i got another thing coming.

???? Drop in whenever i feel like it? I was just here 5 weeks ago. I told you i was coming back after school was over, and i’d been planning this for 5 weeks with your daughter. What do you mean “Drop in whenever i feel like it?!” ..This is what i thought to myself and then realized that aside from the fact my ex is the most pompeous , self loathing, righteous woman you’ll ever have the displeasure of meeting and knowing, she also holds this ‘tyrant’ like persuasion over her children. She verbally insists her children and temporary friends she’s had over the years, agree with her views and opinions or be cast out of her private “love me or get out” lifestyle. My step daughter had NOT been in contact with my ex and NO plan ,as far as my ex knew, had even been planned. Why?

Because my step kids at that time were told NOT to speak or have contact with me. Why? Because that would further separate me from the kids and family i had come to love and was there to support and help many times over the years and make her new boyfriend that much closer to “replacing”me. Afraid of consequences that would follow if her mom found out she was talking to me, are the reasons i believe she didn’t tell her mom. At the time, she was my only portal to her selfish mother and my ONLY link to my son.

Even though it has only been 10 months since that day, i am not the same person that i was on that day. This is what happened starting at 11:34am on the morning of July 15,2016 after reading that social media message from my son’s mother.

In a blood boiling, adrenaline fueled hatred to make those responsible pay i hopped in my truck and raced towards my son’s house. Without care for public safety i floored my gas pedal. Ran 3 red lights in succession, took the off ramp through the valley and up the other side coming to a stop at the first set of lights on the west side. Beside me, a vehicle with a little girl in the back seat and window rolled down. I looked over at her and for a moment i had clarity. Or a least a moment when i needed to calm down and breathe and think. What could i do right now to solve and see my son…today! Light turns green. I go. I see a police unit ahead of me. I race up to him, grab his attention and flag him to pull over. He does.

I proceed to tell him what the situation is. Although it is alot to explain to a police officer he explains to me that he can’t make her let me see my son and that he also cannot go there unless the is a problem. I tell him outright “If i don’t get to see my son. There will definately be a problem!”  There’s nothing he can do. wow.

Fine. I jump in my truck and literally squawk my tires as i pull away from him. It surprised me he didn’t pull me over at that point. Minutes from my ex’s i plan and formulate how i was going to do this. So i set the voice recorder on play on my phone, saved all the messages and anything i had to enforce my position and verify my side of the events. I knew this would change alot of things. Why? Because my ex has no room in her life or her righteous soul for compassion or understanding or giving some back to man and family that helped her F!#@%*$ worthless ass for many years! She had her new man, and wanted my son to have a new dad! Why? To be honest, I’ll never know. It’s just how she is. Selfish,arrogant and lazy! A woman who at one point had alot, had the world by the short and curly’s and lost it all. Why?  Who knows. And at this point, i really don’t care.

Unable to hold my federal reserve i get out of my truck. She finally comes out of her house and we exchange words in a heated dry back alley. She snakes her way back into the confines of her house and says she’s calling the police. ‘Good! Call em!” i just pulled one over and spoke with one minutes ago!” Through the window i saw my little boy’s face and it made me so sad. So sad. Then someone quickly closed the blinds and then i was uncontrollably enraged!!!!

But God was with me that day. In an another moment of clarity i thought to myself. I need an audience. It was high noon and neighbours and windows everywhere.  I was going to cause a scene. At the top of my lungs i proclaimed for everyone to hear “Everyone! I know some of you have seen me here before and know my connection to this family,. This selfish and righteous woman is keeping me from my son, because she doesn’t understand the economic impact and consequences of living far away and not having money to travel or spend on hotels.” Neighbours came out. Saw what was happening. It had little effect and i was certain i would NOT been seeing my son now and all the planning and getting my hopes high were shattered!. In my final token of dismay and disgust with her and the overwhelming thoughts of what i really wanted to do her i ripped off her back fence gate. And defeated, i walk back to my truck.

The police still hadn’t come. I waited for a few more minutes. No police. I put it in drive and slowly drove away. Knowing that from this moment, i would have to fight for my son. I’d have to make someone listen. I’d have to tell my story. And in order to do that, I’d need to find a job,anew career, anything. For this was going to cost. In many ways, it would cost me and my son the most.

Back at my hotel room i was numb. Hours passed. And then it got even worse….

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